Introduction

As I begin my spring semester of my Junior year at the University of North Florida, I can not help but feel extremely lucky to have fallen into the opportunities that I have been graced with over the past 5 semesters. I feel lucky to have been given a research position in a genetics lab on campus working with a well respected biologist in the department as a freshman. I feel lucky to have been given the opportunity to assist with coral larvae research in the keys over the past two summers, and to have spent a month exploring the different coastal ecosystems of our state on the FIO Field Studies Trip, through UNF and several other universities around Florida. In modesty, I attribute these opportunities to a little bit of effort, and a whole lot of luck. At some point, the luck runs out. I've been waiting for that to happen- and it hasn't. 

Though obvious to others, it seems, a new idea has recently dawned on me: I am special. Something sets me apart from others. Something that told Dr. Waddell (my research mentor) to choose me over the other applicants freshman year (surely, his first impression of me was average at best, after barely receiving a B+ in his General Biology I class, and, regrettably, spending half the lecture surfing the web on my laptop instead of taking notes). My grades the first two years at UNF were... satisfactory. Excellent? No. The best I could do? Absolutely not. Again, I felt the opportunities I had been given were out of sheer luck; in other words, I felt undeserving. Unworthy.

Yet, the opportunities kept coming. I've always been afraid of giving 100% for fear of failure. I was setting myself up for excuses to alleviate my disappointment. I should have studied harder. I could have given that more effort. 

"I'm not afraid of anything," I boasted to childhood peers. I lied. To them, but more importantly- to myself. The truth is, I am afraid of my own brilliance. 

A portion of my favorite quotes reads, "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world..."

I am adequate. I am powerful. I am worthy of my abilities. If I have been able to cruise through life on 75% power, and accomplish the things I have, what would happen if I kicked it in gear to 100%? Furthermore, why shouldn't we give everything our best? What are we holding out for? This is it. This is life. 

With this new philosophy in mind, I press forward, setting steep goals for myself, with full intention on achieving them. I set out to create this blog with the goal being to document my observations and learning experiences as a new intern at Environmental Services Inc., an environmental consulting firm. Already, I have strayed from my original plan, which was to document activities, not spill thoughts, and to record data, not profess emotions. But, Rhodes Robinson (the CEO of ESI, the man responsible for blessing me with this opportunity) hinted that this internship may provide more to me than field techniques and data analyzing. I think he may be right. 

And now, the introduction I intended to write: This blog serves to document my experiences as a new intern at Environmental Services Inc. And presumably, a little more. 

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